Hyperactive son – Is it ADHD?

My son is very hyperactive and also has strange behaviors. He likes banging on doors, kicking things and making loud noises to get our attention. We’re having a hard time now as he’s really difficult to control. His doctor says he might be having ADHD symptoms.. is this condition treatable? What options do we have?

USICO:

Hello and thank you for your question regarding your son’s behavior. 

The answer to your first question is definitely yes. The condition is treatable, especially for a child who is as young as 8. 

Before I explain some options for treatment I would like to caution you about diagnosing your son. It seems common practice for physicians these days to diagnose and then try to fit a child and their treatment into a section of the DSM 5. 

While your child may need some training / conditioning to alter his behavior, I would not recommend medication. 

From my post doctoral experience working with children who have social skills / human interaction challenges, I noticed the amazing changes that take place over time (sometimes 1-2 years) as a result of parental interventions using well-tested strategies. 

Again, I would like to advise you not to categorize your son into any named behavior disorder such as Asperger’s or PDD-NOS. These are simply attempts by clinicians to organize strategies to support children. However, I believe the categorization of behaviors into specific disorders is counter productive.  

Your son’s challenges are unique to him only, but by utilizing what has been learned by parents with similar challenges, you will be successful. 

Your interventions will change his future in school, work and within your family. 

What you will be doing is what can be broadly termed ‘Shaping behavior’. I am not talking about general reward and punishment child raising strategies, but a much deeper and structured approach. 

http://www.ldonline.org/article/14545/

If there is an opportunity to join a social skills class, working with other parents and children, I would recommend it. Often they are connected with universities and are inexpensive.

Many involve assigning very simple home chores to children, and providing big rewards for completion. The routine of this continued interaction is very successful. And, it is the kind of attention your son needs and will thank you for later. 

Hyperactive children often loose steam as they get older, and develop a calmer disposition. Although it is not always the case, in my own research, I have noticed that children who exhibit these behaviors tend to be more intelligent  – an advantage you may see later. 

Lastly, I would like to suggest you develop an additional relationship with your son that will improve communication, and his understanding of the world. I don’t know if this is already part of your routine, but time setting aside each day for a story book, really goes a long way. 

I expect you will see big changes after about six months if you follow some of these strategies. 

Best wishes to you –

Simon

My daughter is bipolar

My daughter is 13 years old and was just recently diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. I am very very concerned because my mother had bipolar dis and I have no idea how to raise my daughter in this condition that she has right now. At this point I am asking anyone and everyone for their advice and I hope that you can help me Dr. Downes. at this point I’m very concerned my daughter might grow to abuse the medication just like my mother also abuse the medication for her illness. Help!!

USICO:

Hello and thank you for your question about your daughter’s bipolar diagnosis and concerns about medication abuse. 

Firstly, I would not worry that your daughter will grow to abuse her medication as the knowledge freely available today, in combination with a multidisciplinary team should allow her to lead a normal life – and experience normal ups and downs as we all do. 

Below is a great article for you to read:

http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/basics/treatment/con-20027544

Please take note of how it says that counseling, especially cognitive behavioral therapy can help her to develop good coping skills that will carry her throughout her whole life. 

Please don’t underestimate the power of an excellent counselor. Our profession is dedicated to helping people deal with psychological issues – often working with psychiatrists. However the psychiatrist will only spend a short time with your daughter to adjust medication. 

The most important factor in your child’s well being is you. Parents typically spend the most time with their children and therefore have the greatest chance to influence behavior.  

Therefore, please learn as much as possible about bipolar disorder. However, don’t let that define her, as that is just one aspect of her personality. 

Medications can be adjusted, even to the point where they are almost only a placebo, but excellent coping skills will turn out to be most valuable. 

Also, please don’t discount natural therapies. Allow your daughter to take an active role in dealing with her condition. 

Coping with PMS mood swings

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8-year-old boy who enjoys breaking the rules and getting in trouble

My 8-year-old boy seems to enjoy breaking the rules and getting in trouble. I am constantly getting complaints from his teacher that he is very disruptive in class and that he is bullying other children. Sometimes he refuses to go to school. I have to force him to go to bed. He leaves the house to play outside with his friends when he hasn’t completed his homework. We try to teach him right from wrong and we do not expose him to violence on TV or the household. How can we help Robby behave?

Feelings of apathy after trauma

I am concerned with my indifference toward others and dislike of being in social situations. Is the feeling of apathy normal after having been through a lot of traumatic situations and deaths from childhood to teenage years? I’m often told people deal with death in different ways but I always feel like I could have stopped it or it should have been me. I tried therapy once and did not like the psychologist so now I am wary of more visits. What advice do you have for me?

How can I treat depression without pharmaceuticals?

I have been depressed for about 4 months. I was just sad at first. Now depression is interfering with my life. I do not want to get out of bed or leave my house. I find myself making excuses to friends and family for why I cannot go over during the holidays. But, I am afraid of taking antidepressant medications. I have taken Prozac before and felt like a complete zombie. Are there any methods of treating depression without pills?

Talking to a child about their terminal illness

My 7-year-old niece has a terminal illness, leukemia, and things are not looking good, especially with the recent relapse. In such cases, how does a family go about explaining the child’s death to them? I think it is cruel constantly promising she will be fine. What has your experience taught you is the best approach to this situation?

I’m afraid of social settings

I like being around people but after these years of self-reflection, I realized I’m afraid of social settings. It’s ironic because I avoid people on my own but I feel so incredibly lonely. I can’t have people stare at me when I eat, it’s hard for me to look at people in the eye, and I get really nervous talking to people in general. How do I stop this? I know I like to be around people but I’m just hindered by my own fear.